Saturday, 31 August 2013

Finding contentment..

Nine years ago I became a mother. And, while it has been a roller coaster ride, with more life-changing moments in a decade than most people experience in a lifetime, when that child was placed in my arms, and I stared into her beautiful blue eyes, I felt a soul-satisfying, awe-struck wondering, bone-deep sense of completion. This, I thought, was what I was made for.

Four more pregnancies, deliveries and bouncing babies later.. I still look around at my children, in their various sizes, activities, development stages, and personalities, and I still get that soul-satisfying, awe-struck wondering, bone-deep sense of completion. This is what I was made for. 

I think it was my third child's birth, after my doctor missed the delivery, and the hospital doctor nearly missed it, and the nurses were caught unprepared.. that someone made the comment that my body was perfect for childbirth. My pregnancies are relatively easy (as easy as any pregnancy is), and my deliveries are quick and natural. And when I got pregnant again for the 5th time, and the 4th time in as many years, my midwife commented that I was built to have children. And again, I thought, yes, this is what I am made for. 

But I'm not speaking just physically. As a child, I was considered gifted -- I guess because I started kindergarten, reading to the first graders. Through my growing-up years, I was told over and over again, that I should be a lawyer, or some high-end businessperson.  I thrived in university, with the busy atmosphere of classes, due dates, and social activities. I've always needed a challenge to be my best.  And no where am I more challenged than as a mother of 5 busy little girls. 

I multitask as a matter of habit, keeping track of 5 pairs of little hands, I prioritize in heartbeat - changing diapers, ringing phones, boiling-over pots, and squabbling sisters.. oh and don't forget the baby's crying! I love the daily routines that are familiar, and yet the endless variety of my days, as each child is learning and growing and changing. It's not that difficult --- and yet its the hardest thing I've ever done. I am learning constantly, problem-solving on the go, adapting and changing to meet the needs of the people dependent on me every single day. 

And of course, that apparently wasn't enough to challenge me, according to God, because He also called me to homeschool these wonderful albeit exasperating children. So I add in the preparation and planning required, the self-discipline (let alone the training and teaching!) and the responsibility of their education, to the daily tasks of keeping them clean, fed and safe. 

But I wouldn't have it any other way. I love being home with my children. I love being a homeschool mother. I love being a mother, period. No where else would I find this joy, this contentment. 

This is what I was made for! 

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