Monday, 9 September 2013

Endings and beginnings.. Part 8

Continued..

The counselling program was my lifeline. I checked my email constantly, hoping for encouragement, and I called in regularly to the group counselling calls. I grew more and more discouraged.

I tried setting boundaries, healthy boundaries, this time.. asking for appropriate affection and communication. My boundaries were crossed, every time. My requests were ignored, and my no's were also ignored. After one morning of feeling used, again, and crying.. I realized that nothing was changing.. or rather that it was changing, and not in the direction I wanted it to go.

By the end of the third month, I was emotionally depleted, and physically drained. I had nothing left to give, and nothing left to fight with... and felt like I had nothing to fight for. I asked my husband to leave, on the last day of the month. The counsellors we talked to asked him to leave two days before that.. and he did.  By the end of the month, he had packed up most of his clothes and necessities, and he was moved out.

These last two weeks have been both a relief and a sorrow. Physically and emotionally, I feel as though I've regained strength. But I am despairing at my marriage...

We continue in the counselling program, which has a high rate of success, when the husband whole-heartedly participates. However... I have my doubts about my husband's heart.

** For information on the counselling program used, please go to www.godsavemymarriage.com **

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