Thursday, 28 July 2016

Ups and Downs

If you've followed my blog at all, you'll notice that over the last few weeks there have been some changes lately. And there are likely to be more, as I figure out just what I'm going to do with this, with my business and life. The purpose of this blog started out at a personal online journal -- a way to keep a record of my life, of the ups and downs of my marriage and my family, and just to keep up to date with friends and family. But as my life has changed, my story has resonated with some, and it's been interesting to watch the page-views grow.

I figured out lately that I have just 5 and a half years until my oldest child is an adult. Just 5 years and 6 months to make count before she launches into her own independence. Life is going to change so quickly, and I need to be prepared for this -- not just in raising her, but in the changes that will really impact our family.

I became a parent so young, that I never really had a chance to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. My identity has been wrapped up in parenthood, in raising my princesses, and making sure they have everything they need. But while I will always be their mother, I'm not always going to actively be raising my children. This active parenting ends so quickly, and even though my youngest is only 3, it still will be really fast. And I will not be "old" .. as in anywhere near retirement age. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I want when my kids are grown and gone. I will have time to pursue dreams and hobbies that I've not even thought about having while in the middle of diapers and middle-of-the-night feedings. The problem is, I don't even know what that would look like. 

Then I thought, why do I have to wait until they're gone? I don't. My children are getting older now. My last one is potty-training. We'll soon be done with naptime. The kids are actually helpful now. I can walk away from the table after a meal, and know that my children are trained on how to clean up the kitchen, so I don't have to anymore. It's pretty sweet, actually. 

I've been working from home, part time, almost in hobby-like fashion, for years now. There have been periods where my business plans were laid aside because of life-interruptions, for weeks and months at a time. But now.. now I have time. Now I have drive, and energy, and mental space to devote to creating a career I love, that will support me well past the time my children are gone. 

So what do I love to do? I love to solve problems. I love to connect people to the tools, ideas, products or networks they need to fill in the gap. I get real satisfaction when someone else's life gets better because I was able to introduce them to the right person, or share the right program, or show them a different way of doing something that fixes their frustration. 

This blog is changing to reflect this vision. I want a platform to share the solutions I've found to the frequently asked questions I get, because I'm a single homeschooling mom of 5. I've dealt with abuse, domestic violence, marital separation and divorce, special needs and diagnoses, homeschooling while pregnant/with a newborn/with a toddler/moving/during relationship breakdown/seriously ill/in college and all with very little support.  I've moved umpteen times, bought a car, bought (and sold) a house, found new friends, lost old friends, been on social assistance, been homeless, and used foodbanks. I've managed life through the death of family, through the birth of children, and almost any other kind of stress you can live with and survive. I've started direct sales businesses, network marketing, bought and sold my own products and now I'm providing services.  I have found solutions to my own problems, and answers to my own questions. These are the things I want to tell. 

I'm figuring this all out on my own. I'm debating about going back to school even, to get training in more specific areas of business. This is exciting for me, though, and while I feel a tad overwhelmed, its a good thing. 

Ten years ago, I met a guy, who changed my life, for better and for worse. Ten years ago, I was a scared little girl, naive and ignorant.  Ten years later, I've learned a lot, I've made my mistakes, but I finally feel like I'm adult, ready to take on the world, and make my mark. I'm still not sure what that will look like, but I'm narrowing my focus, and I'm setting some goals. I may be a little slower than most, but I'm getting there, and while I know it will change some more, I can finally say I'm not scared about my future anymore.
One of the newest changes: my new car!!

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